Happy Crapiversary!!

Happy crapiversary to my ex-husband!  Today marks the 5-year anniversary of the last time my ex-husband saw his only son.

Why would you want to miss out on THIS!?

The totally awesome combination of my totally awesome genes and the few near-awesome genes my ex-husband had hiding in there somewhere.

It doesn’t matter why he hasn’t seen him, the plethora of excuses he’s concocted are really irrelevant, and it’s inconsequential that he has consistently refused to pay child support despite his mystifying ability to land 6-figure income jobs.  What matters is that I have a great kid, he has a pretty sweet life and a pretty neat family (if I do say so myself).

So, thanks, ex-husband.  Thanks for telling me that tiny untruth about being infertile so that you could donate the few valuable bits from the deep, dark dregs of your gene pool, thereby giving me a totally brilliant, hilarious, kick-ass kid.  And thanks for doing what we all know is best for that kid and refraining from totally screwing him up by participating in his life in any meaningful way.  Gosh, what a selfless man it takes to do all of those wonderfully selfless things for another person.  You rock, ex-husband!

(And that, my friends, is how you put a positive spin on a crappy situation.)

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